Today is one of those days where I feel like I will die of loneliness. Realistically, it is just the medication and sickness talking, I am sure. I feel sick nearly every day. It has been so long since I had a "good" day, health-wise.
Lately has been the worst, where I push myself to exercise, only to throw up from even getting out of bed. I couldn't read, or play games, or watch television. I just stared at the ceiling hopelessly, and when that started to move from diziness, I closed my eyes and felt sick as the room swayed around me.
Apparently this is just food poisoning, which is probable, but I've had these symptoms on and off now since early December. I'm not suicidal exactly, but I dwell on what it would be like to disappear, more than I wonder what it would be like to be normal.
I feel like retreating, and hiding. I never thought having a blog that no one reads would be such a blessing, but I am glad for my fanbase today. I need to talk to someone, but there is no one there besides the "New Post" button. I'm grateful for this.
Only two more appointments to go (assuming there is no follow-up appointments from there). I'm sure I can make it that long. Once school is here, I am going to throw myself into it fully, and hope I don't burn up.